Happy Birthday, Dorothy Parker, born 22 August 1893, died 7 June 1967. Parker was an American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist.

The 10 Most Memorable Dorothy Parker Quotes

~This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

~Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.

~I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.

~I hate writing, I love having written.

~That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

~I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.

~But I don’t give up; I forget why not.

~The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

~Living well is the best revenge.

~Razors pain you,
  Rivers are damp,
  Acids stain you,
  And drugs cause cramp.
  Guns aren’t lawful,
  Nooses give,
  Gas smells awful.
  You might as well live.